Being a woman on the dating market isn’t easy these days. And it’s not just about separating the few winners from the many losers when deciding who to date, either. Unfortunately, far too many women receive a lot of discouragement from others for not wanting to settle for less than she wants and knows she deserves.
It’s officially time to stop letting that sort of talk take up space in your head and start taking pride in having high standards instead. Sometimes that means having more deal-breakers, not fewer. Here are a few that genuinely belong on every woman’s list.
1. Being Emotionally Immature
There are so many men out there these days who expect to go straight from having their mothers take care of them as children to being similarly mothered by their female partners as adults. And far too many women simply put up with it. Naturally, you can’t control what your friends or female relatives accept in their relationships, but you can and should demand better for yourself.
Men worth being with are emotionally mature adults in every sense of the word. They not only take care of themselves but they know how to take care of their ladies. They’re safe places to fall in a relationship and give you less to worry about by being part of your life, not more.
2. Lacking Financial Stability
No one’s saying life isn’t tough, especially these days. But someone worth having in your life won’t use that as an excuse not to work hard, plan for the future, and manage their money responsibly. No, money isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s so much more important than most people will admit.
So, say no to relationships with broke, shiftless men with no ambition who can’t handle their financial responsibilities. It’s not only okay to want and need a partner who’s serious about building a stable future for the two of you, but to demand one and refuse to settle for anything less.
3. Refusal to Live with Integrity
How good was your last boyfriend about not only talking the talk but also walking the walk? Did he do what he said he’d do, or did he make a habit of breaking promises? How was he about sticking up for you if someone he knew disrespected you? Was he an all-around good guy with nothing to hide, or did you simply learn to expect disappointment after a while?
Never let anyone convince you that you’re asking too much by expecting a man you’re dating to keep his word, be honest, and live his life with integrity. It’s really the bare minimum required for being a decent human being, so it should be a deal-breaker when someone doesn’t have it.
4. Poor to Nonexistent Hygiene
This is another thing many women have simply been conditioned to tolerate from the men in their lives. They’re told that that’s just how men are – smelly, dirty, untidy, and just all-around gross – and to expect otherwise is to be brutally disappointed repeatedly. As a result, they learn to tolerate their man’s bad habits and get used to cleaning up after him like he’s a child. Then they wind up wondering why they feel such deep resentment in their relationships.
Poor hygiene and slovenly living habits are never okay for any grown adult to have, and there are plenty of high-quality men out there who agree. So, hold out for a man who takes good care of himself, his belongings, and his living space. It’s a must before you can seriously consider building a life with someone.
5. Lack of Accountability
Historically speaking, how have the men in your life handled it when they made a mistake or did someone wrong? Did they hold themselves accountable for what happened and get to work making things right, or did they play the blame game instead? Maybe you’ve even dealt with a man or two who didn’t believe he could make mistakes or be wrong at all. If any of that sounds familiar, then you need to know it’s not okay, and you’re right not to want to put up with it anymore.
First of all, good-quality men are humble enough to realize everyone makes mistakes sometimes. They’re also empathetic enough to care when they harm someone else and responsible enough to know how important it is to make amends when that does happen. A lack of these traits ought to be a deal-breaker, hands down, so don’t ever ignore red flags that suggest a lack of accountability.
Ultimately, being in a relationship should lighten the load and make life easier, not give you more to worry about. And a man in your life should make you feel like you have a true partner, not an overgrown child to take care of. So don’t settle for anything less.