Do you often feel as if your special talent just must be getting involved with the wrong guys? Are you starting to wonder if maybe it’s just your destiny to make the same dating mistakes over and over again while all the other sugar babies get the good ones? If so, we’ve got good news and bad news for you.
The bad news is that the common denominator is you, so you’re probably a bigger part of why this keeps happening than you want to think. But the good news is it’s all fixable, especially once you get to the bottom of why you keep passing the great sugar daddies by in favor of taking up with the not-so-good ones. Here are some possible reasons you’re currently stuck on the bad dating merry-go-round.
1. You have unresolved daddy issues
It’s true what they say about girls and their fathers. Your father gave you your very first taste of what it means to have a relationship with a man. How that relationship went has almost certainly influenced your dating life, whether you realize it or not – especially if you do prefer dating much older men as a rule.
That said, now would be a good time to compare your father to the sugar daddies you’ve dated who failed to live up to expectations. Do they share any toxic traits in common? Do they mistreat you in similarly upsetting ways? If so, that’s part of your answer right there.
2. You’re afraid to be alone
Some sugar babies love being single and don’t mind it a bit. They may even look forward to the patches of time between relationships when they become their own women again. But other women are the exact opposite. They hate being alone, and they’re terrified of winding up alone. They wind up settling for bad relationships, because they figure they’re better than no relationship at all.
Which type are you? If you’re the type who sees being alone as something to dread, you’re that much more likely to latch onto whatever man happens to be around instead of holding out for someone who truly deserves to be with you. Work on building a rich social and private life you can fall back on outside of your love life, so you no longer equate being single with being lonely.
3. You’re a sucker for a fixer-upper
“You can’t change a man.” It’s something every woman has heard so often, she’s got it well memorized. She just never actually takes it to heart. This isn’t to say that people who are troubled, selfish, or toxic can’t change, because many can and do. But they have to do it for their own reasons. No one changes to please someone else.
So it’s officially time to get super honest with yourself. Are you comfortable calling a jerk a jerk before moving on, or do you secretly see jerks as potential projects? Does part of you think these men will be so grateful for your “help” that they’ll love you that much harder? If so, it’s time to get real about this very bad dating mistake. It’s not your responsibility to help a troubled person change or wait around for them to do it on their own.
4. Part of you believes love should hurt
Movies, television, music, and romance novels all paint pictures of love as something you need to be willing to cry, suffer, and bleed for if you really want it. However, while that idea makes for a compelling story, it’s not representative of what finding, loving, and building a life with a worthwhile partner is like.
What if we told you that love not only shouldn’t hurt but doesn’t have to hurt to be worthwhile? In fact, if love hurts, that’s a pretty clear indicator that it’s not a healthy love (or perhaps not any type of love at all). Love with the right sugardaddy will never ask you to suffer. It feels effortless, peaceful, and just plain right.
5. You let others talk you into settling
Of course, not all people wind up in bad relationships and making bad dating mistakes because they’re drawn to toxicity on some level. Some people end up there because they let other people around them talk them into settling for less than they really want.
Do you tend to stay with sugar daddies you know aren’t good fits for you because everyone else around you likes them? Have you ever been talked out of a breakup by someone who insisted you’re lucky to be in a relationship you know isn’t right for you? It’s time to worry less about what others think and more about what you know is or isn’t right for you. Your love life will be better for it.