“Nice guys finish last.” If you’re like most men, you’ve probably heard that saying many times over the course of your life. You may even have had countless dating experiences over the years that seemed to confirm the truth of this statement. But how true is it really?

Do women honestly dislike nice men? And if they do, why do they? Do they genuinely dislike being treated well, or is it something else entirely? And most importantly, what’s a sugar daddy to do if he’s actually a pretty nice guy himself? Let’s unpack everything you need to know to figure it all out.

The Difference Between a Nice Guy and a “Nice Guy”

Yes, there truly is one, as not all men who think of themselves as nice guys are the same. There are two distinct types, and they are as different from one another as can be. The first kind really is a guy who happens to be genuinely nice. He cares about people, including women, and it’s second nature to him to treat people well, fairly, and with total respect.

Then there are the “nice guys” a sugar baby is actually talking about when she says she’s not into that type of man. And in case you haven’t already guessed, this type of nice guy isn’t so nice for many reasons.

• They claim to care about others, and some are even pretty great at fooling others (and themselves). But they only pretend to care to get what they want.
• They care more about appearances than they do the actual substance of their relationships.
• They think other people (especially women) owe them something in return for their so-called nice gestures, and they become angry, resentful, and sometimes even violent when they don’t get it.
• Every gesture and interaction is transactional with a nice guy, and not in a good way.

It’s natural, normal, and healthy for people to want and expect reciprocation in their relationships. But healthy people – including men who make good sugar daddies – respect other people’s autonomy. They don’t go around feeling ripped off because someone didn’t respond to them in the exact way they wanted them to.

How Nice Is Too Nice?

It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes a sugar daddy can be genuinely, truly nice in that his generous treatment of the women he dates is authentic, but also be too nice. The thing is, every good trait can be taken to a toxic place where it’s no longer so great, and niceness is no exception.

Women – especially beautiful sugar babies – don’t like men who are nice to a fault much better than they like men who aren’t actually nice at all. That’s because men who are nice to a fault often:

• Have trouble sticking up for themselves or their loved ones
• Are easy to manipulate and often get taken advantage of by others
• Are afraid to take risks or accept the challenges necessary to succeed in life
• Are scared – terrified even – of offending other people, making them hard to take seriously
• Find themselves easily overwhelmed by even standard, everyday stresses
• Have trouble leading or even stepping up when they need to

In other words, men who are nice to a fault don’t really have anything to offer anyone – not themselves and certainly not the women they date. And they don’t make good sugar daddies capable of attracting high-quality sugar babies who could be with anyone they want.

Men who are too nice can’t even take care of themselves, let alone a sugar baby. In fact, they typically need to be mothered their entire lives. So once their mothers are gone, or they’re out on their own, they usually expect their girlfriends or wives to mother them instead. No woman wants to be that for her man, so it’s important not to put the women you date in that position.

How to Be the Right Type of Sugar Daddy

If you see anything of yourself in any of the above descriptions, it can be seen as a good thing. It means you’re self-aware enough to know you could be better sugar daddy material than you currently are, and that’s easier to do than you might think.

Being a great sugar daddy who’s nice without being a stereotypical nice guy is all about developing your confidence in every aspect of your life, especially with women and in dating situations. Readily take on responsibility in life when it makes sense, and make decisions about how to handle yourself with integrity.

The sugar baby of your dreams wants a man she knows she can trust to look after her, as well as for himself. She wants someone honest, strong, reliable, and compassionate. So definitely stay nice, but actively temper your niceness with strength to balance things out.