You don’t necessarily need to be poor or down on your luck to have a reason to ask a guy you’re dating for money. Independent, affluent women can sometimes use a little assistance in the money department, as well. Plus, it just plain feels good to be spoiled a little from time to time – something that should already be happening if you’re in a steady relationship with a man.
That said, you don’t need to be married or engaged to properly justify asking your partner for money. You don’t need to be in dire financial straits to deserve it, either. However, doing it right does require a little finesse. Here’s how to do things right and get what you need nearly every time.
Don’t demand that he give you money.
No man wants a demanding girlfriend who thinks she’s entitled to his money for no good reason, so avoid going about things this way. Instead, adopt a softer approach. If your guy is a generous person who’s good at picking up on hints, dropping a few pointed ones may be an excellent way to get what you need. Many men, especially affluent ones, enjoy using their money to take care of their loved ones, including the women in their lives, and yours is likely no exception.
However, if he’s the type who needs or prefers people to be more direct, you’ll need to come up with a good way to ask. Again, don’t make demands. Go to him and explain your needs. Then sweetly and lovingly request that he help you. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him and how grateful you’d be if he honored your request.
Choose an ideal time to approach him.
Timing counts for a lot in life, especially when asking other people for things you need, so choose yours carefully. Don’t approach him when he’s already tired after a long day at work or otherwise not feeling his best. Instead, wait until he’s already in a great mood or feeling particularly generous – like after a beautiful, peaceful day together or a particularly passionate round of lovemaking. You’re infinitely more likely to get what you want.
Of course, you can do a lot to help create the right environment, as well. Cook him a delicious meal and plan a romantic evening you’re both sure to enjoy. Show up looking your absolute best. See to all those special touches you know he can’t resist. Then go ahead and make your request.
Remind him of how special he is.
A little gratitude and appreciation go a long way when asking another person to be generous with their resources, especially money. So, make sure your request comes attached to plenty of it. After you ask, tell him how much he means to you and what a reliable presence he is in your life. Explain that you only ask those you genuinely love and trust for this sort of help and that he’s at the very top of this short list.
In a world where women no longer expressly depend on men for their needs, many guys don’t feel needed enough in their relationships. There are even more who don’t feel treasured enough. Reminding your man that he’s both of those things for you within the context of your relationship will likely make a big impression, especially if you know your man is the traditional type who likes to feel vital, important, and necessary.
Avoid making false promises.
Many people make the mistake of saying whatever it takes to get a “yes” when asking someone they care about for money. They take it for granted that the person won’t really remember the details after the fact, only to find out that this isn’t the case at all. So, you’ll want to avoid making any promises you know you won’t deliver on.
Don’t say you’ll pay the money back if you intend for it to be a gift. Don’t attempt to guilt-trip your man by telling him you’d do the same if the shoe were on the other foot, especially if you know you likely wouldn’t be able to. Instead, be subtle but honest about the fact that you want him to give you the money, not lend it to you. Otherwise, you risk damaging the trust between you, and that’s hard to come back from once it happens.
At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do for yourself. But there’s nothing wrong with wanting the man in your life to spoil you occasionally or help you out financially when you need some extra, either. So don’t be afraid to ask. If you’re loving, sweet, and gracious about it, he’ll be happy to oblige.